Left in a Mess
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: Nine years on, and the bandicoots still hadn't cleaned up Wumpa Island.


**Left in a Mess**

"Coco?"

"Can't talk. Eating butter."

That she was, Aku Aku reflected. Eating butter, and playing a PlayStation 4. One of many consoles hooked up to what Coco called "the mother of all teebos." Or, in other words, a TV screen that filled up an entire wall of the house that was displaying a red dog doing various acrobatic stunts on a plane above the desert. As ever, Coco's eyes were fixed on the screen. On the dog, in particular. Apparently he was naughty. Whatever that meant.

"Coco?"

"Mmm, gimme a minute," she said, between mouthfuls of butter. Aku watched as the dog survived the plane crash by riding on a cargo crate that plunged into the sand. Before the dog could dust himself off, various creatures erupted from the sand. Zombies, he supposed. The kind of things Cortex would create if he was halfway competent. The zombies charged, the dog drew out a disproportionately sized gun, and-

 **WARNING: Battery Levels Low.**

"Damn it," Coco said. She fiddled with the controller and two AA batteries fell out. She reached over through the mess of wires and junk food that was spread around the cabin. "Now where did I put my-"

With his shaman powers, Aku shut the PlayStation off. He would have used hands, but he was a floating mask without any opposable digits. The world was cruel like that.

"Hey!"

Coco got to her feet for the first time in the last week. Well, the first that Aku had seen her do at least. He supposed Coco got to her feet at some point during the day, if only to make her way to the bed and toaster but most of the time he was with Crash. Giving him advice, protection, and yelling out "boogada" every so often.

"What did ya do that for?!" she exclaimed. "I was just about to take on the clickers."

"I thought they were zombies."

"No, clickers. Completely different." Coco sighed and stretched her arms – Aku's nose wrinkled as he saw the perspiration that had gathered under her armpits. "Well, doesn't matter. Can't play it until Crash finds another battery."

"He seems to be doing that a lot lately.

 _I would know, I help him._

"Yeah, well, what else is Crash gonna do?" Coco asked. "It's not like Cortex is doing anything. And since we haven't seen Spyro in years, I don't think we need to worry about crossovers."

"Yeah, yeah," Aku said, deciding not to question how batteries were found in jungles at all. "Or…you could clear up."

"My house?" Coco asked. "Forget it. My house, my castle, my floor."

"I meant the island. It's been nine years and all the junk from Cortex's gadgets is still lying about."

"What, you mean that scrap metal?" Coco asked. "It's fine. Just fine. Nothing to worry about."

"Crunch broke his leg tripping up on it."

"Crunch is a big boy. He'll be right as rain."

"There's sea turtles getting their heads caught in metal tubes."

"Oh, so they can't go back and forward anymore? Tragic."

"Pura nearly got infected after he cut his paw."

"And licked it up. See? No problem. And besides." Coco gestured to her teebo. "Without that gear, I wouldn't have got all this stuff."

"I thought you got it from GameStop."

Coco shrugged. "Second-hand either way. But whatever. It ain't my job to keep the island clean. Cortex comes, Crash beats Cortex, rinse and repeat."

"Except we haven't rinsed and repeated since 2008."

"You sure?" Coco asked. "I couldn't sworn we-"

"Mobile games don't count."

"Oh." Coco put a paw under her chin. Nine years of inactivity hadn't been good to her, Aku reflected. She'd got a little…alright, a lot, tubbier, a lot smellier, and Crash had got more eccentric over that time as well. Or crazy. Or…well, he wasn't sure how to describe Crash. He'd even started talking at one point. Something about Netflix and a group of weirdos called Skylanders.

"Alright pops," Coco said. "I'll make you a deal. If Cortex comes back at us again, and we beat him, we'll clean up Wumpa Island. Deal?" She stuck out a paw. Aku stared at it.

"Aku?"

"Y'know I can't shake that."

"Oh. Right. Um…you want to write it down? Sign it using telepathy?"

"Telekinesis. And no. I don't want to sign anything Coco. I just want my island cleaned up."

"And I want the Xbox One to get some more exclusives, and the Switch to have more power than a flashlight. Doesn't mean I expect them."

"Fine," Aku sighed. "It's a deal."

"Great," Coco said. She picked up a piece of bread that had been squashed against another piece of bread and took a bite out of it. "Hmm. Not enough butter. Want some?"

"I'll pass." Using his powers of telekinesis, he opened the door and began drifting outside. His ears picked up the sound of bread and butter being eaten interwoven with the OST of _Fellowship of the Ring_. Something about hobbits. And wizards. The type of stuff that belonged in another franchise that hadn't had a proper instalment for nearly a decade.

But, he could hope, he supposed. Maybe one day Cortex would come back, be defeated, and Coco would clean up his island. Maybe one day, he'd be back to looking like he did when he first met Crash and not like a floating gorilla head.

And hey, if remakes counted, he'd have his island cleaned up in no time.


End file.
